Goal
The aim is to understand and to reflect the way conflict parties have approached the issue –whether by reaching a constructive mutual agreement or by avoiding it.
Steps
1. Make the participants remember some personal conflict situations and how they usually behaved in these situations. Collect the results and become more concrete.
2. Fight: recollect with the participants examples of Fight behaviors, i. e
Examples for FIGHT
- refusing to listen;
- manipulation;
- screaming
- ...
Question: What are the main messages of Fight behaviors?
Messages of FIGHT
- I'm right/ you're wrong
- to blame and punish
- to threaten
- I'm OK/ you’re not
- ...
FIGHT - I Win/ You Lose
3. Escape: collect some examples of Escape behaviors
Escape
- crying
- avoiding
- giving in
Question: What are the main messages of 'escape?
Messages of Escape
- I'm wrong/You're right
- To avoid conflict
- To maintain peace
- To let the other person win
- I'm not OK/You are
Escape - I lose/ You win
3. Flow: Behavior between “Fight” and “Flight” with some examples
Examples for FLOW
- discussing the issue
- listening to others
- explaining own perspective and needs
- compromising
- ...
Question: What do you think are the main messages of Flow behaviors?
Messages of FLOW
- “There must be a way to solve the issue
- to identify the problems
- to respect others’ interests
- to make sure everyone is satisfied with the solution
FLOW I win/ you win (assertive behaviors.)
4. Systematization: Please fill in the table below by choosing three conflict situations and analyzing it. This can be done in individual work or small group work.
|
Examples of your behaviour |
Strengths |
Weaknesses |
How it affects people involved |
How it affects the problem |
|
FIGHT
|
||||
|
ESCAPE |
||||
|
FLOW |
Reflection
- If you have analyzed behavior in conflict, did it help you look at conflict resolution from another point of view?
- If during analyzing you have chosen an example that you solved in one way, can the solved conflict be settled by another behavior which could be more effective or be long term?
Reference
Conflict Resolution Network CRN: CR Trainers Manual - 12 Skills; 1. The Win/Win Approach; available on http://www.crnhq.org/
Varsenik Minasyan
Facilitator and expert for non-formal education, condlict management and right-wing extremism.
