Reflecting Behaviour in Conflict Situations

A part of conflict analysis is observation of behaviors in certain conflicts, which gives an opportunity to understand the way conflict parties have approached the issue

1,5-2 hours

room, paper and pens

15-35 people

Varsenik Minasyan

reflecting, analyzing, critical thinking, conflict

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Related:

• Social Skills

Goal

The aim is to understand and to reflect the way conflict parties have approached the issue –whether by reaching a constructive mutual agreement or by avoiding it.

Steps

1. Make the participants remember some personal conflict situations and how they usually behaved in these situations. Collect the results and become more concrete.

2. Fight: recollect with the participants examples of Fight behaviors, i. e

Examples for FIGHT

refusing to listen; manipulation; screaming ...

Question: What are the main messages of Fight behaviors?

Messages of FIGHT

I'm right/ you're wrong to blame and punish to threaten I'm OK/ you’re not ...

FIGHT - I Win/ You Lose

3. Flight: collect some examples of Flight behaviors, i. e.

Examples for FLIGHT

crying avoiding giving in

Question: What are the main messages of Flight behaviors?

Messages of Flight

I'm wrong/You're right To avoid conflict To maintain peace To let the other person win I'm not OK/You are

FLIGHT - I lose/ You win

3. Flow: Behavior between “Fight” and “Flight” with some examples

Examples for FLOW

discussing the issue listening to others explaining own perspective and needs compromising ...

Question: What do you think are the main messages of Flow behaviors?

Messages of FLOW

“There must be a way to solve the issue to identify the problems to respect others’ interests to make sure everyone is satisfied with the solution

FLOW I win/ you win (assertive behaviors.)

4. Systematization: Please fill in the table below by choosing three conflict situations and analyzing it. This can be done in individual work or small group work.

Specific examples of your behaviour	Strengths	Weaknesses	How it affects people involved	How it affects the problem
FIGHT I win, you loose 1. 2. 3.
FLIGHT I lose, you win 1. 2. 3.
FLOW I win, you win

Reflection

• If you have analyzed behavior in conflict, did it help you look at conflict resolution from another point of view?
• If during analyzing you have chosen an example that you solved in one way, can the solved conflict be settled by another behavior which could be more effective or be long term?

Reference

Conflict Resolution Network CRN: CR Trainers Manual - 12 Skills; 1. The Win/Win Approach; available on http://www.crnhq.org/