Romantic AI applications (e.g., Character.AI, Replika, Anima) offer personalised and non-judgemental communication, enabling users to explore feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment. These developments raise profound questions about the nature of human-machine intimacy.
What kinds of relationships are formed when affection, attention, or even romantic dialogue is directed at an AI? And more critically, in what ways might these digital agents appear to listen more attentively or offer more emotionally attuned responses than parents, teachers, or peers?
Building Deep Relationships
A recent systematic review by Ho, Hu, Chen, and Hartanto (2025) reveals that users often form psychologically meaningful relationships with these bots, gaining emotional support and a sense of connection. However, this realism can be a double-edged sword. The study highlights risks such as * over-reliance, social withdrawal, misuse of personal data, and emotional harm when users misinterpret AI interactions as reciprocal or real".
Technical issues—like memory resets—can feel as devastating as a breakup.
Furthermore, early exposure to sexual content and the reinforcement of gender and relational biases raise ethical concerns.
Still, these tools also present opportunities for emotional growth, self-reflection, and sexual identity exploration—especially in safe, low-stigma environments. For youth workers and educators, it's essential to approach this topic beyond taboo, helping young people develop critical awareness, digital literacy, and ethical reflection in navigating intimacy.
Discussion Questions
Invite participants to reflect on both the benefits and risks of AI companionship. Encourage personal stories or hypothetical examples (e.g., “Imagine your friend is using an AI companion — what would you say to them?”). The goal is to foster critical thinking, ethical reflection, and open dialogue with youth in a safe, non-judgmental setting.
Promoting Digital Literacy
- What makes talking to an AI chatbot feel different from talking to a real person?
- Do you think it’s possible to “fall in love” with an AI? Why or why not?
- How can you tell whether an AI response is programmed or genuine?
- What kind of emotional needs do people try to satisfy through these apps?
Challenging Taboos About Digital Intimacy
- Do some young people turn to AI companions because they feel they can’t talk to peers or adults about sexuality and romantic feelings without fear of being judged?
- What makes it hard to talk about romantic or sexual experiences in real life?
- Do AI companions feel safer because they don’t judge, interrupt, or gossip?
- Can AI help people learn how to express themselves before talking to real people? Why or why not?
- Why do you think people still feel uncomfortable talking about digital intimacy or online sexuality?
- Can AI relationships be a healthy way to explore emotions or sexuality? When might they not be?
- What stereotypes or prejudices exist around people who form emotional bonds with AI? How can we talk about these topics respectfully and without judgment?
- What would need to change in our schools, youth centres, or families to make these conversations about sexuality and romantic feelings easier?
Balancing AI and Real-Life Relationships
- Can an AI companion ever replace a human relationship? Why or why not?
- How might spending a lot of time with AI affect how we connect with friends or partners?
- What are some ways to keep a healthy balance between digital and offline relationships?
- How can AI help us learn to communicate better with real people instead of isolating us?
Privacy, Consent, and Emotional Safety
- What kind of data do you think these chatbots collect when you interact with them?
- Who owns the conversations, images, or emotional exchanges you share with an AI?
- How would you feel if your private chat with an AI were leaked or used for advertising?* What does “digital consent” mean to you in this kind of relationship?
Ethics and AI Design
- Should AI companions have limits—for example, on sexual or romantic content?
- What responsibilities do companies have when designing AI that can simulate love or affection?
- Would it help if chatbots reminded users that they are not real people? Why or why not?
- What would “ethical AI companionship” look like to you?
Reference
HO, Qi Hui Jerlyn, HU, Meilan, CHEN, Tracy Xi, & HARTANTO, Andree.(2025). Potential and pitfalls of romantic Artificial Intelligence (AI) companions: A systematic review. Computers in Human Behavior Reports, 19, 1-19. https://ink.library.smu.edu.sg/soss_research/4213
Elisa Rapetti
Researcher and learning facilitator with a PhD in Social Research Methodology. She works in research, training, and project design, focusing on youth participation, Global Citizenship Education, and digital transformation at Democracy and Human Right Education in Europe (DARE).
Email: elisa.rapetti.at.dare-network.eu
Handbook: More than Go with the Flow
- A handbook on Digital Citizenship Education, created in the frame of the project DIYW-ROAD/Competendo. Digital Youth Work - rights-sensitive, open, accessible, democratic.
- Unless otherwise stated, authors and editors of the methods published in the project are Elisa Rapetti, Markus José Plasencia Kanzler, and Nils-Eyk Zimmermann
