Today, it is entirely possible to form meaningful friendships, romantic, or even sexual relationships through digital platforms — often without ever sharing physical space. These relationships are not inherently less valuable, deep, or significant. For many, they provide real emotional connection, support, and intimacy. The sharing of intimacy with strangers did not begin with digital technology, but it has taken new forms through it. After all, every relationship starts between two strangers. What matters is not always physical presence, but the quality of interaction, mutual respect, and emotional resonance — whether online or offline.
Contents
Development and Management of Close Emotional (and Sexual) Relationships
Digital intimacy refers to the development and management of close emotional—and at times sexual—relationships mediated by digital technologies such as messaging apps, video calls, social media, and haptic devices. These tools have reshaped traditional understandings of intimacy, enabling new ways to connect across physical distance and transforming how we express vulnerability, affection, and desire. As Lomanowska and Guitton (2016) note, digital communication allows for deeply personal exchanges—through text, images, video, emojis, and even digital touch—that foster emotional closeness and trust. Technologies such as teledildonics and wearable haptics further expand the possibilities of connection and embodiment across distance (Ley & Rambukkana, 2021).
Digital technologies are not only tools for creating relationships online, they also help maintain and deepen intimacy between people who already know each other in the physical world. Whether through messages, shared content, or emotional support across distances, technology extends the possibilities for connection in everyday life.
Avoiding Oversimplification
As educators and youth workers — often from older generations — it is essential to recognize and understand the ongoing shift in how relationships are formed and experienced in the digital age. We must avoid oversimplifying or dismissing young people’s digital experiences as unreal, untrue, or less meaningful than those that begin in physical spaces. These relationships are real and impactful for those who live them.
Realistic Risk Exploration
At the same time, it is important to explore the specific risks associated with these new forms of connection and to raise awareness among young people. Sexting, for example, is not a new phenomenon — the exchange of intimate letters has existed for centuries and even developed into its own literary genre. What is new are the tools involved: texts, images, videos, and even tactile technologies.
The core issue is not the existence of sexting itself, but the consequences related to the digital traces it leaves behind. This highlights the importance of educating young people about protecting their own privacy — and equally, respecting and safeguarding the privacy of others.
References
Ley, M., & Rambukkana, N. (2021). Touching at a Distance: Digital Intimacies, Haptic Platforms, and the Ethics of Consent. Science and engineering ethics, 27(5), 63. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11948-021-00338-1
Lomanowska, A. M., & Guitton, M. J. (2016). Online intimacy and well-being in the digital age. Internet interventions, 4, 138–144. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.invent.2016.06.005
Elisa Rapetti
Researcher and learning facilitator with a PhD in Social Research Methodology. She works in research, training, and project design, focusing on youth participation, Global Citizenship Education, and digital transformation at Democracy and Human Right Education in Europe (DARE).
Email: elisa.rapetti.at.dare-network.eu
Handbook: More than Go with the Flow
- A handbook on Digital Citizenship Education, created in the frame of the project DIYW-ROAD/Competendo. Digital Youth Work - rights-sensitive, open, accessible, democratic.
- Unless otherwise stated, authors and editors of the methods published in the project are Elisa Rapetti, Markus José Plasencia Kanzler, and Nils-Eyk Zimmermann
